Posted on my main site as “Weak Off, Most Highest Video, Thin Paint”
Hey friends! Taking a little break from “Virginia is For Diaper Lovers” to take on a little more serious subject, will be sharing some new Virginia Pics Tomorrow! I’ve been posting this video everywhere, it’s likely the most challenging and highest gravity video I’ve ever done.
All the Content Warnings, this video details the allegations against “Chloe Corrupt”, an active Producer and Performer in the Trans Adult Scene, and how alleged abusers dodge, obfuscate and insulate against sexual assault allegations. Please be respectful of everyone’s privacy and keep things above the belt. There is no call to action in this video, just a warning about the future of our industry and young trans people if accountability is not valued.
I unfortunately had to dive into Social Media again, outside of really missing my friends there, nobody is going to see unless I share it and share it wide. The reaction has been lukewarm, a few people have really praised it but many people in the industry have remained silent. I am never surprised by the apathy and self-centeredness of the bougie white woman, trans or not. People love to snipe at politicians and people that will never see or think of them, but won’t take on challenges in our own house. It’s easy to #hashtag, it’s a real labor of love, or at the very least, angst, to make a video like this.
I am not foolish enough to expect the world to reward me for doing the right thing, at least in my lifetime. We’re starting frescos, big as the sky, and while we will never seem them complete in our lives, we start them regardless. If I wanted to get a million likes I would have hidden these things about myself, hidden my gender, my kinks, my observation of wrong-doing, my SELF. Diluting the paint to make a more calming, palatable color.
But I know that there’s people like me out there, we may be few and far between but we are and will continue to be. . We are the bright shocks of color in this world, not the eggshells or aubergines, but the neons and dayglos. Some will try to extinguish this little light of ours, so we must burn bright, hot to the touch, as a hearth to some and a warning to others. We gotta stick together and look out for our own, act not as candles but a conflagration. Warm the hearts of this cold earth, with light comes color and creation.
Be safe friends. StayDiapered, StayKiny, and in the words of Conway the Machine: “Don’t tell my people to stay safe, tell ’em to stay dangerous”
Content Warning: Transphobia and Everything Associated
I’m about to tell you the story of a time I got “Sir’d” and what I did about it. I understand not everyone has the safety, autonomy or spoons to fight the good fight, and I hope you know that’s OK. I believe just existing as a transperson is a powerful thing, progress starts with you. Happy thoughts and I hope this post finds you well. Originally part of a post called “A Combination of Invention and Recall” on my kink site, hence the misquoting theme.
So yesterday I was checking out of a hotel and was dressed pretty cute, jeans, pigtails, little mermaid hat, adorable like always ❤
There was a youngish woman and a 30-something guy at the counter, not paying much attention when I come into the lobby so I approach the counter and say “checking out” and hand the guy my key. He looks me in the eye and says “thank you sir” and I walk out, confused. I wasn’t wearing a mask if I recall (though I often do) and though I don’t often modulate my voice (use a “girly” voice or a presentation voice like I’m on the phone or doing a video) that isn’t enough to “Sir” me, lots of women have raspy/traveled voices like me.
I live my life in a very concerted way that does not allow for this bullshit. I got about 20 steps out the door before my moral compass directed me back in to ask him why he called me “Sir”. I kinda felt like the “here we go again” GTA meme. I try to attribute things like this to ignorance not malice, so I never begin with anger, just a simple “Why?”. I walked in and this time the woman immediately noticed me and asked if I needed help. I gestured to the dude and asked him straight up, “Why did you just call me Sir?” He mumbled and said “It’s just the first thing that came out of my mouth, sorry”, and I said something like “Yeah, I was confused, like you were trying to diss me or something”, they responded with something like “No, I wasn’t thinking, I don’t know why I said that”, I said some combination of “yeah, OK, thanks” and politely said thanks to both of them and left.
“Fuck Safe, I Stay Dangerous”
~ Madlib (or Freddie Gibbs, I forget)
I wasn’t sure if the dude was being authentic or not, it doesn’t matter really. I’m way past the veil when it comes to getting really upset, and while the thousandth cut still stings, I’m not going to mess myself up over it or “concern myself with the opinions of small minds” as my friend often says. It’s more of a “oh really, you’re gonna go with that?” reaction these days
I like to put the ball in their court, they’re the one with the problem, they’re the ones that just did something very strange by calling me a Sir.. How should a woman, cis or trans, act in that situation, getting called a man? I try to avoid “Sirs” and “Ma’ams” in most situations, and yes, I appreciate the irony of using constant gendered language in this post, but if you’re participating in society you’re going to encounter gender roles, so if you’re going to assign people those roles yourself, you’d better be thoughtful.
That’s why I call most people “They”, I don’t like assuming and even if someone tells me, I still just stick with “They” because it’s how I am. I have been called transphobic for this lol. I call transmen he and transwomen she, I just often use “They” because my brain is a complicated machine but it needs simple rules to run properly. I still call myself “he” accidentally and stuff, not because I see myself that way, but because I am clumsy and high and given the opportunity I will always say the wrong thing. I know someday I’m going to get banned from being trans for calling someone the wrong pronouns because of my scattered, rabbit brain. I hope this post grants me a get-out-of-jail-free card someday.
One last step onto the highest part of the soapbox…
I believe that the trans community does not progress by people walking away. In these times when the legislation of the trans community has begun, the tipping point when a community goes from silence to acceptance or obliteration. Our fate is being decided at the dinner table, in the workplace and in the halls of power, and times like this force us to be present, to speak out for our survival. From Biden working at a Federal level to Keffals burying Kiwifarms to the ubiquity of trans people in classrooms and workplaces around the country, we are working to make sure this fuckery does not stand. Kill them with Kindness, but kill them still, ideologically and forever.
“Cisgender folks, their rights, and nothing more;
Transpeople, their rights, and nothing less“
~Misquoting Susan B. Anthony~
Times like this need people like me, create people like me. People that will not let these things go unanswered. Those two people and anyone else around know that their behaviour will not go unanswered, and while I don’t want to assume hate, progress is as much about tamping hate as extinguish it, I can’t make them accept me or love me, but I can make them treat me with Respect. I can make hate more trouble than it’s worth. And ideally, I can make them realize we’re all folks and whatever they think or have been told about me and my kind, it’s wrong. It’s a Quaker mindset, i’m too filled with riotous anger to call myself “peaceful” but I’m learning to approach these things with a more peace-focused mindset. I am not a pacifist, I just strive to live the life of one.
In between writing this, I got a letter last night from a family member who found out about my surgery plans and wants to tell me their opinions about it, it seemingly never ends.
Well, it may never end for me, but someday it will end. We are building a world for that teenage transperson seeing all the nastiness in the news and fearing for their safety, we put ourselves at risk for their future. I felt the same way about growing certain plants/hallucinogens, we cared enough about the plant that we risked out lives and freedom to share it because we knew it was good and needed to not be made extinct. Transpeople are light and color and difference showing through the black and white world, we are diversity, the flower in the concrete cracks or the tree in Brooklyn, we are worth defending. We must survive, even if some of us won’t in the process.
“The most noble thing a person can do is plant a tree they will never see bear fruit”
~ Viktor Bryukhanov (but not really) ~
Thanks for listening. I have managed to avoid becoming a statistic but like most transfolks, I know more dead trans people than living ones. It’s a reality, especially for older transfolks, people of color and/or ones in the sex industry, but it’s a reality that we can change by being here and being queer. Lets lift each other up, go support a trans patreon or buy a trans artist a cuppa. Peace and happy thoughts, more stuff soon ❤
From the scattered recollection of Riley Kilo – 10/02/2022
I always counteract the idea of transgender suicide rates with “they are frightenly higher than we can ever imagine because of the people that were never allowed to come out”
A friend of mine, someone I met working retail at a big box store, confided in me that they were considering transitioning but several of their friends were also transitioning and they didn’t want to feel as if they were being an imitator.
After giving my canned speech about you determing your own authenticity and not reflecting off of the other people’s lives, I asked if maybe the reason why their friends got together is they have an understanding of themselves and self-expression that the average person doesn’t? And maybe transgender people tend to gravitate towards certain themes in their media?
Things could have gotten low for this person back in the day and nobody would ever known that they had these trans feelings, and they wouldn’t show up as a percentage either. So like most things in life however bad you think things are, it’s worse
But as an ancient trans person (36, out for 16) it is getting better and better all the time. More people treat us as humans now.”
Hi there friends. My Instagram was recently reported down at 10K and I have since locked my twitter. I am stepping away from social media and focusing on my videos and this blog. I will still post on all my paysites and nothing changes about upcoming projects, I just will no longer have a public face on twitter and other social platforms. I am not a victim of any specific doxxing or harassment outside the usual noise, this is about harm reduction. I am not in danger or facing any crisis, I’m fine ❤
This story is the end of my long journey with Kiwifarms… I’m about to head to a national park for a week to enjoy my friends and nature, going to spend more time away from screens and love this beautiful trans life I have ❤
20 Word Version:
Twitter has become a dangerous place to be a “famous” transwoman, especially if you are kinky or a SexWer. I have locked my accounts for my health & safety, largely due to the violent rhetoric from white leftists and transpeople.
4 Tweets Explaining the Keffals Thing, sorry about this dudes Wojacks and language
The Full Version.
My History With Kiwifarms
After appearing on My Strange Addiction I had my privacy invaded by users of anti-trans forums Gendertrendr and Kiwifarms and a person named C*thy Br*nnan. People related to these sites contacted my family, my old job, they met me at my doorstep and more than once in the street. I was living in the South Bronx at the time and they are partially why I moved out of NYC, I no longer felt safe as a single transwoman in my city. Their articles calling me a dangerous pedophile and rapist (for being ABDL or using women’s restrooms) effectively put out a hit on me, posts detailing my alleged crimes with my address and legal name etc, “someone has to stop this person” on their boards and messages like “the law is the only thing keeping me from killing you”. They had targeted me and ABDLs before, but this was a specific campaign to get me offline and underground. I got my ConcealedCarry, I had to explain transgender people and doxxing to Sac PD & Mott Haven PD to protect me and my family. I got a restraining order. I’ve had run ins with other stalkers, some really bad, but nothing like Kiwifarms. It was a nightmare.
I was heartbroken, in my naive mind it was “Feminists” doing this, I was constantly engaged in advocacy in feminist/leftist groups (I was big into OccupyWallstreet at the time) and felt ostracized… I later learned the difference between a Radfem and a real feminist (we didn’t use TERF much then), and that it was mostly politically motivated bigots co-opting feminism and queer folks to singularly attack transpeople, be it through useful idiots or by using fake accounts. LGB Alliance is the leading group for this now. I learned that not everyone wearing the shield of a social movement is authentically part of the cause. Is Every Person with Dreads for the cause? Is Every Person with Golds for the Fall?
Who or What is Keffals?
I spoke vaguely about Kiwifarms over the years and have kept away from mainstream advocacy because like many transpeople/ABDLs, I was legitimately afraid of what this group is capable of. Folks worked hard to get Gendertrendr taken down but Kiwifarms remained… Until this week, when a twitch streamer named Keffals organized a movement around her own doxxing and harassment and finally succeeded in taking down Kiwifarms. It’s been all over the news, a huge moment for face-forward transwomen online.
I want to clarify, I do not follow Keffals outside of this last week and don’t follow Twitch stuff but I see the things she does and want to applaud her. Arrogantly, I see some of myself in her fearlessness, she has done the good work at significant risk to herself and that’s awesome. And I know these people are not going to just stop fighting and trying to destroy her once Kiwifarms goes down, it’s a hate movement and they don’t just give up.
In the wake of this victory, allegation of racism, grooming, lies and theft spread about Keffals. The accusations were laughable, a post about noodles and putting the italian colors in the pride flag. Not exactly virulent racism, maybe some bad jokes or microagressions from an Italian-Canadian. And of course the grooming allegations are false, but that’s the first place bigots always go with LGBT+ folks, supporting trans youth is grooming to them.
These claims are part of what could only be described as a PsyOp or an “Organized Derailment of a Social Movement through Conveying Selected Information to Influence Actions and Emotions”, AKA, Bullshit. It’s incredibly common in the social justice circles, long history of it, recent example being the 4chan MAPS thing. All these claims center around this user “DreadedJai” and their constant harassment of Keffals. It’s all laid out pretty clearly if you simply look. And remember, that while these people are actively threatening and harassing her, Keffals is in hiding from a swatting incident and enemy #1 of every internet transphobe. But now is the time to doxx and brutalize her over alleged racism.
A SMALL PART OF THE ATTACKS:
It looks like internet bickering until you realize it’s classic Kiwifarms behaviour, go see the threads on their new site l*lc*w.farm right now, it’s all the same talking points. They bait with harassment, like Jai and others have with demanding money then calling them racist when they don’t donate, calling transwomen groomers, bigots, grifters etc then turn tail and call them bigots when they respond. When Keffals said Jai should be “excised from this community like a tumor” she was 100% right in saying that. We have to kick abusive people out of our community, it’s how marginalized communities survive. That’s not a violent threat or racist screed, it’s firm words from an advocate under fire.
But in classic Kiwifarms behaviour, they took that Tumor line to mean Keffals hates all black women and is a monster who deserves to be hacked, doxxed or killed.
A SMALL PART OF THE RESPONSE
I speak extensively about issues of bigotry in my communities. There is real racism around and it often goes ignored, we all need to listen to people sharing their authentic experiences, it’s how we learn. BUT THIS IS NOT THAT. This is a bunch of people with a deliberately disingenuous attacks at the top Transwoman in the worlds spotlight right now, to muddy the waters around Keffals, change the conversation and make her the villain, not the violent trolls on Kiwifarms.
It’s Psyop 101, Divide and Conquer. One Part Kiwifarms brigade and One Part dogpiling for that sweet attention and GofundMe money, they all like and platform each-other and their GofundMes.
I here this often from advocates, but STOP INFANTILIZING PEOPLE OF COLOR, TRANS PEOPLE ETC. Not every transpersons opinion is valid solely because they are trans. You are allowed to contradict and argue and call out bad behaviour regardless of race or gender. Treating marginalized people with kids gloves is othering them, not respecting them as equals. There are people out there that lie, grift and play cards and you can’t let them bully you into silence. Are you gonna listen to Enrique T*rrio about racism just because he’s brown?
Let’s talk about Candice Owens and Jessica Yaniv.
Candice Owens is a black woman who says claims of sexism and racism in America are a deception from the liberals and the jews. She has proven herself time and time again to be a bad actor. As a white person capable of independent thought, I don’t feel the need to sit down and consider her words or be afraid to call her a liar or say she’s a cancer to our communities because I 100% believe that, with no reference to privacy invasion or violence, we should excise people like that from our social justice communities. While there’s an obv history of objectification of black women, “Tumor” is hardly a racial line and more a “we are a community and need to be free of bad actors like this troll”.
If a black woman is being really awful, her blackness or femininity should not shield her from criticism – I have never met a black person or woman who thinks that it should, but I’ve met a whole lot of racists and misogynists who do. There are similar, authentic black women in social justice and I sit down and listen to them. I would never question their experience or judgement on issues or racism. But that’s not Candice Owens.
Jessica Yaniv is a transgender woman who tried to force a salon to wax her testicles. They said they didn’t know how and they were not comfortable doing it. She spent the next few years suing the women, threatening people, getting arrested and more, all because of “transphobia”. But that’s not transphobia, that’s people setting skill and comfort boundaries from someone who is clearly violent and unhinged. They had every right to refuse her service. It’s not transphobia to say NO to a transperson.
There are similar, authentic stories of discrimination from transwomen and I sit down and listen to them. I would never question their experience or judgement on issues of discrimination. But that’s not Jessica Yaniv.
And there are countless, valid stories of white transwomen ignoring, marginalizing and being flat out racist and I would never question the experience of black transwomen on these topics. But that’s not Keffals, at least not anything I’ve seen, and its clear the brigadiers are not engaging in a honest way. I strive to judge people by the content of their character, not the color of their skin, and if someone proves time and again that they are full of it, block them. I have black republicans in my family, people i’ve known most my life, I don’t listen to them about racism because they just parrot FOX. Racist black people exist, black skin does not make you an expert on racism. And of course, I acknowledge my own learned racism from media, family, school etc, I try to be aware. But I’m not going to let Blaire White tell me transphobes are perverts and I won’t let black conservatives tell me “Black Americans are the most murderous group in America“. I will always speak truth to propaganda when given the opportunity.
Why Twitter Has Become Unusable For Me
As a victim of Kiwifarms, I know the consequences of stochastic terrorism. I have seen too many people on my follower list getting caught up in these lies and scams and when I inform them, they agree with the violence. Legitimate violence too, “we should hack keffals and if I see her in the street I will beat her up”, such as the first tweet above. They are gleefully communicating with people who think that blocking a troll is worthy of violence, “Fuck around and Find Out” against a trans woman, and for what? Insensitive tweets? Using blocklists? Swatting kills, and these people think Keffals 100% deserves it. And these are not random trolls, these are Transwomen with 40K followers and platforming these trolls to thousands of likes.
Many of these accuser accounts have high follows and low followers, they tweet 500 times a day and everything is super-aggressive crowdfunding, but that’s a whole different story, mutual aid funds are rampant. People make up stuff for money, there’s legit Gofundmes and plenty of fake ones.
When you get famous to any degree, you lose any expectation of privacy. People will demand and demand of you, and they will keep trying to slice pieces off until they have the whole thing. If you do not react the way they want you to, they use your fame and history as leverage to harm or guilt you. And now you have to worry about getting run up on for a tweet about noodles. It’s especially heinous in leftist spaces, where everybody is secretly hitler and just one false move away from exposing themselves. And that brings me to the main point….
I can’t be part of a community that spreads this violent rhetoric. I block and block and I still see people pushing violence. It makes me fear for my life and the safety of my loved ones knowing that some minor infraction will lead to being doxxed again. I have someone in my life that cannot move house or deal with swatting or harassment so I have to leave the scene.
I was already a lush then, but after the Kiwifarms attacks I hit the drink and [redacted] hard and spent the next 8 years on the linoleum. It really broke me and things continued to fall apart from there. I became paranoid and disconnected from my friends and lost a few, further deepening my iso and depression. I missed so many opportunities out of fear, made so many bad choices out of self hate. I have been just now starting to re-associate, 3 years no alcohol, getting my confidence and self-worth back. I expected backlash from being a face-forward transwoman on TV in the early 2010s, but nothing like that. I’m glad I did it, because maybe it would have killed whoever else would have been in their crosshairs.
I feel like it could all just happen again
And I don’t know if I can take it again. This time it could really do harm to my partner or family and I can’t let that happen, it’s not worth all the joy I get from my friends there. And it’s been mostly joy on there and in my life recently in general, but Twitter is just a place of ugliness for me, the hate has become too prevalent. When I see people violently threatening famous transwomen and being celebrated for it, it’s time for me to leave Twitter.
I am not a pacifist, I believe in direct political action and own weapons for self defense. But I believe that the threshold for violence is astronomical, only in the most extreme situations of self-defense. But Trans/Social Justice Twitter is a whole different universe. Microagressions? Doxxed. Mildly offensive tweet? Hacked. Blocking a woman who’s been harrassing you? That’s fine… oh sorry, it’s a white transwoman blocking a black woman so it’s the Death Penalty i’m afraid. Keffals should have just continued to listen to these demands for money and accusations of grooming and grifting! It’s a horrifying mindset and indicative of college age tankie “kill anyone who disagrees” crowd. I have my time working with leftist groups, I don’t reject them, but these folks are not on the side of good. They wouldn’t be threatening transwomen’s lives if they were.
The problem at the core of all of this is not the grifters or psyops, they will always exist. It’s the lazy college aged white people who don’t research, they just proselytize, they look at the surface level of an issue and retweet. It’s a fashion to them, they don’t care enough to learn the truth, they just hear “Keffals is racist pass it on” and go “ooooo, here’s some tea, ‘hey everyone, Keffals is racist and i’m super not racist for tweeting about it!'”
IF YOU ARE GOING TO SELF-STYLE YOURSELF AS AN ADVOCATE, YOU HAVE TO DO THE WORK!
There’s been a big post going around about Keffals, being used as part of “the real proof” of her being an evil bigot. If a single person took the time to read it, they would know how clearly written by a Kiwifarms user it is. Here’s a few selections, I remind you she was in hiding from death threats, another thing they constantly deny and pretend is a “grift”. She has never called anyone the N word or outed people in any provable way, this whole post is just calling her a groomer, liar, sex shaming and victim blaming, saying she has a “Death Drive”. Not only is it ok to doxx, harass and ruin her life, it’s actually her fault. Also this was written by a black transwomen to lend it credence, a woman who has not posted on twitter for a year until this, which is the first thing she’s ever posted online.
I need take some time to make definitive media about these efforts dividing and conquering our community. I need to stop fearing the social media clowns and just speak truth. Stop arguing and wasting my time, Ducking the overnight advocates. I need to write a book about my experience. I need to rise above the rabble, continue reading and learning about the experiences of marginalized people, not arguing with anime profiles on Twitter. I need to grow up. Keep working with my local orgs and being politically active however I can, especially heading into the midterms. I am not worried about being called racist by white college kids on twitter. I know what i’m about, my friends and fans and family know what i’m about. I don’t need to prove myself to any moral arbiter, just need to keep learning and working.
“When you bang your head against the wall and feel blood, it’s not the wall that’s bleeding”
And if Keffals does have issues, lets confront them in a sound way. Not with death threats or “get this bitch”. It’s good to talk about race, it’s good to hold people accountable, it’s never ok to encourage violence or privacy invasion. That’s why i’m so exhausted by this, in the face of these violent words, the white transwomen shrug and say “Well, Fuck around and Find out”. That’s not solidarity, that’s a deeply flawed and broken community. Trans leftists have called me a p*do for wearing diapers, a baby killer for voting democrat, a capitalist and rapist for being a sex worker. They attack me because they don’t want a real challenge, they just want to control and antagonize. It absolutely detracts from real, actual issues and all it does is serve their egos. And once they lose attention, they turn to the right. Look at Amy Daly and Vito Gesualdi, two people who went far left to far right over the course of their twitter careers. All progress is made in spite of these people and social media is full of them.
I am more afraid of fundamentalist trans leftists than I am Republicans in my day to day online activities, the wolf I can anticipate, but not the wolf in sheeps clothing. The racist who screams anti-racism, the anti-sex/SexWork queers who believe all the groomer/trafficking propaganda, the sexual assaulting transwoman who plays victim when called out (more on Chloe Corrupt in another post), the pro-violence/anti-voting wing of the tankie left, the scam artists hiding behind black Gofundmes or behind that of dead kids. Their refusal to evaluate what they share harms this community, all because they are too vain or shallow to actually understand the things they say or platform. It hurts my soul and lowers my bar, so I gotta gracefully exit.
Thanks for reading, this blog has been a rock so I will stick with that. I am finding my thoughts consumed by these clowns, it makes me angry, clouds my mind and stresses me out, I express myself clumsily and say things I shouldn’t. I need to spend more time where people actually care about the cause, not just the attention. Ya’ll know if I was in this advocacy stuff for attention or money, I’d be doing things way differently.
I’m gonna hop in the shower, clean off all this mud and come out clean and focused. I will continue to listen, question my views on race and listen to people with some sense. Books over Tweets anyday 🙂
Be well friends. Don’t let anyone do the thinking for you ❤
ARTICLE SUMMARY: The full story on how a stone-cold bigot got a booth at Pride
[HUGE CONTENT WARNING: We’ll be discussing hate groups and their rhetoric – This has been on my mind and I want to address it thoughtfully…]
UPDATE: Twin Cities Pride has been well informed on this issue but is still letting ABDLTruth have a booth at Pride this weekend. They have chosen to ignore these facts and after a series of discussions with their board they stopped answering my letters and phone calls and seem to have made a clear decision on who they want present at their festival. I would be very careful attending, you could very well be outed, doxxed or targeted.
I grew up racist. I was taught bigotry by the adults in my life, the Christian school I went to taught me how to hate and my Stepdad gave me plenty of targets. I was told by an educator this actual quote, “If someone is gay, there’s something wrong with them”. To this day, remnants of that hate can manifest in my thoughts, though I try to immediately squash them. Learned bigotry could be called traumatic or brainwashing and that just doesn’t go away by reading James Baldwin, it goes away by not acting on it and by challenging your own thoughts.
Once I hit Middle School (around 12 years old) I realized that my Step/parents were jerks and bigotry is used to divide the weak and gullible for power. As an empathetic kid it was an easy call to take sides in the early 2000’s, I saw one side gleefully oppress marginalized people the other side defending Muslims and LGBT folks. One side had Rush Limbaugh, the other, Noam Chomsky. I have always diversified my Lit and Social circle, read Franken and Falwell, I read Rand and Marx and CS Lewis. I even read Al Rokers book just for good measure. The point is, I’ve seen both sides and I chose the folks who (ideally) puts the least advantaged people first. I have tolerance for other peoples opinions, working in polling/elections is all about that, but it’s important to have limits. This isn’t about ME being an intolerant liberal, this is about someone breaking the social contract of queer spaces by being a bigot. In discussing this a sexy friend quoted the Paradox of Tolerance, simply, “If you accept intolerance, you erase tolerance”, and that sounds about right to me.
And this has nothing to do with ABDL people at large, ABDLsgenerally enjoy diapers and togetherness, not fascism. This person is an outlier in the ABDL community and has been rejected from most communities and platforms.
But really this is not about my personal politick, it’s about Tolerance v. Intolerance. Let’s get into it.
Preface or “The Right To Swing Your Fist Ends At My Face”
It’s important to take how folks represent themselves online to heart. There’s no such thing as “trolling”, being mean to people is still being mean to people. Some places it’s OK to talk some trash, like a Hockey debate or ModernWarfare Lobbies, but there’s a social contract to that also like you can’t call someone slurs or threaten their life.
These are all pretty basic guidelines, bottom rung “discrimination based on sex, race, color, age, religion, national or ethnic origin, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, pregnancy, marital or family status, medical condition, genetic information” behavior that will get one fired from any job. We have so much free speech in America, especially online, people just don’t tolerate hate speech anymore. “Free Speech” has become “I should be able to say whatever I want and you can’t challenge me on it”
Now let’s talk about how a transphobic, holocaust denying, racist troll got a booth at Pride.
What is #ABDLTRUTH?
First: When i say #ABDLTruth I am talking specifically about one person, lets call him “A.T.”. – it’s not any sort of organization really but there are a few “Group” pages on Fetlife and Facebook. The users page on Fetlife
Second: The #1 stated goal of #ABDLTruth is to defend a “Greg S.”. In short, he’s doing Years in Prison for having bad pics on his server. It’s apparently a massive conspiracy against the ABDL community that led the creation of #ABDLTruth by their friend, the guy who we’re discussing today . So Greg S. is in jail and A.T. has a booth at pride. This is irrelevant to the bigotry stuff, but it’s upsetting there’s horribly bigoted ABDL people at Pride handing out paperwork defending this convicted pedophile, listing “THE ABDL COMMUNITY” as one of the defendants in his case. Not a great look.
You can see some of the Facebook content and their “Inspiration”. A.T. tends to attach themselves to legitimate groups and people to lend credence, I think Understanding.Infantilism.org is still a legit site and Bittergreys always been a real one in my book… please inform otherwise. There was also a Local that was apparently sponsoring them but are no longer as of this week, so I think they misrepresent themselves pretty heavily.
So Long Story Short: I got a letter on Fetlife from A.T. inviting me to the #ABDLTRUTH booth at Twin Cities Pride. I looked into their profile as they called themselves a “Fellow ABDL advocate”.
I looked at their profile and saw what could only be described as a “Racist Facebook Uncle” worth of hate filled posts. See this link for screenshots, and this one for More, there’s hundreds of posts like this. It’s the worst kind of transphobia, race baiting, trolling, the worst aspects of discourse from the violent wing of the right, going as far as threats, “Fauci is really H*tler”, encouraging suicidal ideation, encouraging and agreeing with the fascist rights ‘Take Up Arms Against The Liberals to Protect Kids’ rhetoric. just absolute nonsense. I think the anti-Semitism alone would have made him persona-non-grata in most places, decent people don’t put up with that. I’d usually just block, report, warn others and move on, but I found some startling things that made me realize this is a legitimate threat that needs addressing.
Nazis at Pride
I would not call someone a Nazi lightly, but when someone is saying Jan 6th as a Reichstag moment (historical context here but basically when the Nazis started consolidating power) I will call them a Nazi, 100%, they are minimalizing the Holocaust, the violence on Jan 6th and pushing neo-nazi rhetoric. ABDLTruth has done this, and they will be representing ABDLs at Twin Cities Pride.
In searching their social media I found multiple instances of them threatening violence/or agreeing to violent comments against “The Left”. I found some of the darkest, most frightening commentary that could only come from a very, very sick person. I won’t repeat them, but you can find some here, including the Reichstag thread… they have locked all their socials before I could really get things thoroughly documented, but imagine these same horrible conversations on 700+ photos.
I have heard from other users that A.T. outed transwomen. Their sister group, MN’s “M.A.D.E.” with whom they share the Pride booth, I’ve been told they’re vocally anti-immigrant during meetings where ABDL immigrants are present. A.T. said he’d “slap the taste out of Bidens mouth” and made fun of Bidens son’s death equating it to a suicide, so imagine how they’d attack someone more left of center? It’s post after post of this bigoted rhetoric yet somehow…
THEY HAVE A BOOTH AT TWIN CITIES PRIDE AND HAVE ATTENDED FOR SEVERAL YEARS
I missed all this as I was on the periphery of the ABDL community for a little while and during that time this group was Proudly organizing at Pride and this dyed-in-the-wool bigot was, “Repping the ABDL community”. What gets me the most, you see that comment above about “I know you might not be able to make it due to our economy”? That’s called “Being a Passive-Aggressive ass” and oh-so-subtly reminding me that our economy is JUST SO BAD that it’s safe to assume nobody can travel. Proves to me they will clearly insert their vocal opinion into whatever they do, and their opinion is rotten. We’re talking about some absolutely vile rhetoric that just lies beneath their inclusive façade.
Why Pride Matters
Pride is supposed to be a tolerant place. It’s eclectic and can be challenging at times and that diversity makes it beautiful. The Stoners get along with the Sobers, the Aces and Kinksters hangout, the Trans Jews and the Gay Gentiles break bread, and every person of every gender/sexuality and background seem to get along.
But there’s always one group there, with cruel signs and a message of hate, but we keep them OUT. They have every right preach their gospel but they WILL NOT do it in our spaces. These spaces were designed as the one place in society where they truly can’t hurt us. We desperately need those spaces and we need them to be good, as both a way to meet as a community & celebrate and as a deliberate show of presence to the bigots.
Advocacy and Pride, being “Here and Queer”, has always meant being willing to stand up for yourself and be present in the face of adversity. We have had to put our bodies on the line to defend ourselves in the past, it’s what started Pride in fact, though in this generation I believe we can work towards equity with accountability, community organizing and putting in the work to make sure we’re looking out for everyone.
I’m commiserating about those years at pride where ABDLTruth was present. How many transpeople did they talk down to? How many attendees were they bigoted to, possibly in ways they never noticed? What potential damage could they do with photos of transfolks there? What could their reaction to being excluded from Pride be, after the massive failure of Twin Cities pride to Vet this group?
These are scary possibilities, especially because this person has an eerie sense of inclusivity etc., they can parrot the language of social justice. You have someone talking about Pride and LGBT+ rights and then on the other hand is putting out the most caustic posts that are totally contradictory Pride and the civil rights movement. And all their friends and likes are all the same stuff, much of it much more targeted at transpeople than A.T.s output and much more aggressively violent.
Sidenote to an upcoming project: Fetlife has not been helpful. I reported a number of photos and got this response, and then today I logged in to find a number of posts had been removed after I informed them of some of the violent language in that email, but the 4 posts removed were of underaged girls. These were not on A.T.s page tho, but rather random other creeps I found in the comments of A.T.s posts. Fetlife has serious issues and I will be talking more about this in the future. Their support is a joke and I had to really harrass them just to get some pictures of kids taken off of their adult site. It’s basically Parler with nudity. Funny how when communities get unmoderated they immediately fill with Nazis and Pedophiles.
But Could Dada Defeat The Nazis?
So moving forward, let’s not stay silent on things like this. We have people in this community who brow beat anyone who speaks on real issues, “this is just an ABDL sub relax” etc, when this situation has become big enough that we need vigilance and accountability or people are going to get hurt.
DO NOT participate in any harassment or doxxing etc of this individual. I know that they will read this, I have already seen a few posts with them angry about me warning folks away from their group, they got temp banned from Fetlife for a post about me. They like to play innocent victim like it’s just Red V. Blue, when you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who could honestly defend the things they say, espcially about the Holocaust or Beau Biden. I have been around the dark spots of the internet for a very long time and must say, this is about as vile as it gets. I delayed this article in anticipation of them being removed from Pride and due to them having some mental health issues and not wanting to dogpile on them, but Twin Cities Pride obviously doesn’t care about Nazis at Pride and A.T. keeps putting out the same vile rhetoric, so unfortunately this has to come to light.
If the “ABDL community” is defined by a series of events, stores and websites, I am perfectly comfortable saying this kind of behavior does not belong in the ABDL community. Accountability in this community means at the very least, no active Nazis in our community. If you can’t abide by that simple standard or just want to “ignore the drama”, then you’re just as bad as them.
Call to Action
Contact Twin Cities Pride on Facebook and Instagram (Facebook Seems to Be Much More Active) and inform them of their lack of oversight. Call or text their “See Something, Say Something” hotline ( and let them know they have Nazis marching at Pride. Let them know they have created a dangerous situation and that by allowing ABDLTruth they are making Pride unsafe for Transfolks, Jews and any target of their bigotry. A.T. plays nice and friendly but have a long track record of hate and we need to hold LGBT orgs accountable.
Yes, it’s valuable to have an ABDL presence at Pride, but not if that ABDL is a pedo-defending, jew-hating, racist/transphobic anti-vaxxer who thinks the Reichstag was a GOOD THING. Are you kidding me with this? We must hold groups accountable and this is an immediate need, as this person will likely use this opportunity to mess with anyone not on the extreme right. Allowing them at Pride makes this Pride not only dangerous, but invalid.
Thanks for reading, stay vigilant, do what you can do protect the most marginalized members of our community from the bigots and trolls who would exclude them. Stay Strong and Stay Kinky!